Thursday, March 19, 2009

Simply Irrelevant

Do you ever get frustrated trying… not the frustration of trying to do a certain thing, but just frustrated with trying? I mean the energy it takes trying vs. just doing what comes naturally, what comes from an outpouring of who you are, rather than a striving to be more, be better, be more effective, be excellent.

Maybe I'm offending some here, but I find there is so much out there about being relevant, and effective and making a big influence, and not so much about the humility of being who you are, living in the moment and doing what needs to be done, well. It's a hyped up Christian world sometimes… on steroids at times… and while I understand the need to read authors that pump you up, attend conferences that take you to mountaintop places, I also recognize that we need to come down to the real world and live.

So, my point it this, if we are to live our lives like Jesus, would he be all over this excellence thing? Did he run around to various seminars, read the best sellers and spend time networking with the top people in order to get his message across? Nope. He simply lived, and walked and talked with people… yeah, the people that he met each day in the market, on the streets, and who he ate and drank with.

So maybe, just maybe, I should like that too. Rather than the rushing from one great opportunity to the next one, one visioning meeting to the next, I should simply put on a pot of coffee and visit with my neighbour? Or, chat to the cashier at the grocery store, look her in the eye and ask her how she's doing? Or wave when someone lets me in in traffic? Or thank the mailman for bringing my junkmail.

I don't know, maybe that's just me, but I think we/I make too much of myself sometimes. Yeah, I'm an annointed, chosen, forgiven, princess of the almighty God. But, I'm also a simple woman with a sphere of influence that starts at my own kitchen table.

Just thinking…



Monday, March 16, 2009


Sleep eludes me.
My spirit engulfed by guilt, grief and loss
I rise before dawn and walk to the garden alone,
seeking solace
seeking peace.

The garden is cool
and the sweet smell of jasmine hangs in the air,
I want to escape from the realities of day,
that You are dead
and our love dead with you.
The false loves of my old life haunt me.
What will happen to me now?

The events of the past week play out in my mind.
From joyous celebration to sudden death and I,
weak willed bystander, fair weather friend,
watched from the sidelines.
I fall to my knees, prayer-less, powerless, broken.

I feel a presence before I hear a sound.
Someone is standing close to me.
A gardener arriving before the heat of day?
“Who are you? What do you want?” I ask.
A moment’s silence, then a single word is spoken name.

I look up in confusion.
Is this someone’s cruel trick or is this a ghost?
Yesterday he was unrecognizable, yet he stands
before me now without a mark on him.
There is no denying His voice.

Astonished, I rise to my feet
and look into the eyes of my beloved.
He touches my face with warm fingers
He smiles with understanding.
My heart breathes
as I enter his holy embrace.

And then, with the lightness of fresh knowledge and freedom
I turn, laughing with delight
and run to tell the others.

“At this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, but she did not realize that it was Jesus. He asked her, "Woman, why are you crying? Who is it you are looking for?" Thinking he was the gardener, she said, "Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have put him, and I will get him." Jesus said to her, "Mary." She turned toward him and cried out in Aramaic, "Rabboni!" (which means "Teacher"). - John 20:14-16

Prayer: Jesus, like Mary I am overwhelmed by your death on the cross. Sometimes I forget that you died to take away all of my sins, no exceptions. Help me to receive your Easter gift of total forgiveness. And help me to live in the grace-filled freedom that you promise me. Amen.

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